How Not To Talk To Your Kids

A while back, my cousin emailed around this interesting article about how to praise your kids from New York magazine. It kicked off a lot of discussion via "reply all" (which is how much of our extended family's communication seems to happen these days), so I thought I'd post it here for anyone who wasn't on the original email.

I've seen several comments online that people think the recommendation is to stop praising your kids (interestingly, some people seem pleased by this conclusion, while others lament it). I don't think that's what the author or the researchers meant. The recommendation is to stop praising your kids for the wrong things. Don't praise them for having the right answer, or getting the top grade, or for being smart. raise them for putting in significant effort, or being persistent, or taking on and overcoming tough challenges.

Another common conclusion? Easier said than done...