Get this. The very first response I got on the blog was from my friend Anne K to tell me she's working on the ads for a Republican candidate for US Senate. She hasn't told me who, yet (and after this post might refuse to speak to me ever again), but here's the contenders.

Wow. Quite a gaggle there. It's no California recall -- no porn actresses or ex-child stars -- but pretty entertaining for the ancestral home of old-school machine politics.

So based on my "celebrity branding matters, everything else doesn't" theory, I'll put money down that Jack Ryan wins the Republican primary, maybe by a thinnish margin. And then I'll put money down that he whups whomever the Democrats can put up against him. Any takers? Nah--it would be like taking candy from a baby. Except maybe that Nancy Skinner "the Winner". (SEE? I'm not making any of this up.) She sounds just wacky enough to do some damage.

But come on. Jack Ryan is:
- Ex-husband to Jeri Ryan, actress and every Borg's wet dream from Star Trek "Voyager" and now "Boston Public" (If you can't be a celeb politician, you can be a celeb's-ex politician. Expect the five of Liz Taylor's ex-hubbies who aren't already in politics to launch new careers.)
- He looks like he was rejected from the set of "The Bachelor" for being too handsome
- AND he's named after a Tom Clancy hero?

No wonder he doesn't need any actual policies other than to brown-nose the President.

Ryan's commercials (click on the links from his home page) are cleanly produced, mildly amusing and of the slicker, and more consumer-friendly than most political ads. But they end with him saying "...and I approve this Republican message?" What's up with that? Shouldn't it be "I approve OF this Republican message"? At first I thought he was just mumbling the "of" but it's written out clearly on the website. I guess he's saying he's accountable for the content of the ad--but then isn't it more correct to say "I approved this message"? Or did he pick up some lingo I'm not hip to while he was teaching in Chicago's Inner City schools? Proper.

Actually, I kinda hope Anne's working for Dr. Chirinjeev Kathuria. Selling a towel-headed* intellectual in the Heartland. That would be a challenge. Seems like an interesting, highly qualified guy.

But he doesn't stand a chance.

All I can say is, as a Californian, it feels good to make fun of somebody else's politicians for a change.



* Don't write me to complain--I'm projecting how he's likely to be perceived